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Thursday, 09 April 2009

  • Currently
    Plans
    By Death Cab for Cutie
    brothers on a hotel bed
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    All is Lost

    i feel so dead.

    guess i should have seen it coming.

    i knew it was only a matter of time before this tension and anger exploded but I didn't know it would end up with quite the effect that it did.  my heart is a crater in my chest.  there's nothing left right now, it actually really hurts.  I know we promised a long time ago to always be best friends but then the romance got involved and was just so exciting.  I am not completely sure why it ended this way but it hurts all the more.  I still taste the last kiss you gave me and feel your hand in mine as we cuddled on the couch watcing our favorite movies.  sort of funny how those movies were all about heartbreak and betrayal, right?  maybe that was a hint.  the messed up love stories and broken relationships and friendships you can never return to, right?  why did we let that get in the way? 

    laying in bed, your arm around me, listening to our songs play.  that cd is still in the car.  when i close my eyes i can hear you breathe while you sleep.  that annoying breathing.  and when I cried from pain you, stroking my hair saying "it's okay baby, it's alright...baby, it's okay."  did that really mean anything to you?

    wherever you are and whatever you are doing, i hope you know that i am sorry we let romance get in the way and ruin our friendship.  it would have been safer if I never kissed you, ever held your hand, never laughed when you said those flirtatious things to me.  i can see your eyes behind mine.  this hurts so badly.  i want to cry but i'm not sure how to.

    i wonder if you feel this imprint breaking...

Monday, 16 March 2009

  • End of Winter

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    this picture is from December.  i just thought of it today when the sky pushed out its last little pook of snow for the season.  It is still fairly cold outside but the wind is picking up, which means spring in central Washington.  And the hundreds of robins pecking around are a nice hint, too.  This quarter of school is over and my finals are this week.  I'll be registering for classes tomorrow for the coming quarter, which starts on the 30th. 

    I need to set up that sewing machine.  it stares at me from under the rocking chair and begs to be set up and plugged in.  I bought three yards of fabric today to make a top and dont have a pattern yet, but i'm getting very excited about getting there, you know? 

    We're looking at buying a house!  ...probably in Yakima and I will commute the thirty minutes to school.  It will be easier on Jared, too, so that he will not have to drive that half hour to work at 5 in the morning.  He falls asleep so easily and it worries me when he has to leave that early.  Poor guy gets up at 4:30 and gets home twelve hours later.  My husband is such a hard worker and I am immensely proud of him .  I can't wait to take less hours of class so that I can clean up and cook for him like I want to. 

    I can't wait for SPRING!

Monday, 02 March 2009

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    For Casey ~ my ear :)

    what a weekend.  my friend catie had her 21st birthday, then the night after i went to this fancy gallery party and sipped champagne and looked at bad art.  good times were had.  i have no idea why i am wearing that hat.  someone put it on me. 

     

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

  • Pay Off

    My cycles are finally back to normal.  after years of added-hormonal onslaught, my uterus is now allowed to fully fill and cleanse itself every 28 days, no longer every 35. 

    Hopefully this means it'll be easier to produce a little sea monkey zygote!

    School is keeping me incredibly busy, but the study time is surely paying off with good grades and that elusive feeling of satisfaction and self-esteem.  Having twenty hours of school paired with 10 hours of studying and 20 hours of work each week is quite the day-filler, but I sleep so much better at night now.  I smile, too, thinking of finally being done with college soon and moving on to my career. 

    Keeping with my 'expected' personality quips, I couldn't go very long without getting some new body modification.  Less than six months after getting my fifth tattoo I was becoming anxious without feeling some sort of pain, and my husband was aprehensive, but we decided on something reversible; a piercing.  I have always wanted a cute little nose piercing but my husband is so stacked against it that I decided to stick to the ear region.  So, and Industrial it is.  Now, adorning the entire upper portion of my left ear is this large bar spanning from the outer part of my ear to the bridge between the ear and hair.  it's really cute and I cannot wait until it heals so I can put a smaller bar in.    Funny thing is, my sister has been begging me to get a 'sister' tattoo with her.  haha.  We shall see.

    I texted fifteen of my friends and asked them if I should go back to having blonde hair, and all but one, to my surprise, said "No, stay brunette we love it!"  Hmm.  If I would have known I looked this good with brown hair I would have done it a long time ago.  Nice!  and I just got a trim last week so I feel very clean and purty. :)  yays

Tuesday, 27 January 2009

  • whooie

    re-discovering classical music. Prokofiev's Romeo and Juliet Opera, specifically the Dance of the Knights.  a fun listen.  heavy on the strings and fun minor key.

    helps when you have to study all of the time.

    i got a sewing machine, and intend to wield it's power to great lengths of success!  ...now for materials and patterns, on into fashionable genius! 

    and yay for putting hot chocolate mix in my coffee...makes my vitamins easier to swallow and the cold mornings seem a bit happier with the flavor of elation (that sounds dirty, doesn't it?)

    again, teachers' pet in my history class.  it helps when you enjoy the subject and read a lot of historical fiction.  discussions and nods of approval.  the late 19th century is a fun time to read about. :)

    that is all for now, friends.